7/20/2014

Broken String

SOUL MATES by Lang Leav.

       I don't know how you are so familiar to me - or why it feels less like I am getting to know you and more as through I am remembering who you are. How every smile, every whisper brings me closer to the impossible conclusion that I have known you before, I have loved you before - in another time, a different place - some other existence.


Sounds of all sorts filled the air. Chatters, cheers, singing, crying, whining, laughter all melds into a single melody that drifts towards the sunny sky.

       2018 World Cup in Russia

In the sea of people, there was a wanderer, a traveller, weaving through the crowd, but heading nowhere in particular. He moves noiselessly, silently, intentionally invisible. He watches and observes different people, learning their different ways, but for no reason in particular. He sees them in colour, red, green, blue, but never knowing his own hue. 
Football had once been his passion, but was extinguished by a memory too painful to reminisce. But a force too strong had drawn him to this place, and he had long learned not to question the forces.
So there he stands, watching, colour coding.
In the rainbow sea, someone catches his attention. Her face was one he knew too well, her smile was one he once held dear. She is a different colour altogether, one he has only ever seen in his dreams.
The forces urged him to approach her, so he does, cautiously, carefully.

"Excuse me miss."
He watched as her lips curved into a familiar smile he was once so fond of.

"Hi sir. Do I know you?"

"It may seem like an odd question, but have you ever had a friend who's life goal is to be a tramp?"
The silence that followed seemed to last for an eternity.

"I can't believe it's really you."
Waves of emotion flooded his heart, engulfed his soul, when all of a sudden she says,
"Let me introduce you to my fiancee." 
His world shatters.

With all his strength, he forces a smile and shakes the hand of the stranger who then leaves.
Turning back to her, he takes her hands in his and looks deep into her eyes.

"I only hope that we will have a chance to be together someday. In another time, in another life."
He kisses her hands gently, disappears into the crowd, never to be seen again.


19/7/2014

6/29/2014

想念的故事 —— 代寫

穿上紅黑籃球鞋后,奔跑聲更讓人放鬆了。
唯獨在場上的奔馳,才能瞬時忘卻緊扣胸懷那股糾結,鬱悶——



門鈴響了又響,大門前黑色轎車也跟著門鈴結束般顯露沉默。
手裡的蛋糕得不到歸宿,倒成了垃圾桶里的唯美點綴。眼前的黑,倒不如自個兒費心卻無回報的心碎。

——

我望著環山的景輝
周遭卻只留下孤獨的意味
於是邁開腳步追向未知的滋味

甜味,這是甜味!
用巧克力得來、能喚起心醉的甜味
拿在掌心,一用力就會粉碎的心醉

曾在機車下嘶吼的唯美
你離開后空缺的座位
都曾帶我離開來自那條巷子的疲憊
我記得我為你戴的鋼盔
和你緊抱我的陶醉

你可知道
當我握緊手心捏碎
那滋味

你說難受得不知所謂



你可知
哪怕有我在夜裡隨機車被吹逝的淚
也沒法挽回


——

我回到了疲憊的巷子, 再次踩著黑色的車軌;門鈴沒讓我再後退,但前景卻無那記憶般完美。

於是只剩下了無謂,以及球場上的汗水。
我穿上紅黑色的球鞋,再歇斯底里的流著汗水。


2/09/2014

往前的旅途

周遭靜得只剩蟲鳴,春風也貌似不再吹了。

離上次的發文已接近半年;我狠狠的邁入了成年后的第二個年頭——
正在我沒有意識周遭的環境的同時,一群群學弟妹們也一同成為校友了。曾經同窗的同班同學,現在又即將經歷第二次畢業,有別於之前的是這次需要接受的是社會的洗禮。
填寫履歷,應徵工作,在戴著所謂四方帽影下微笑的那一瞬間,這一切就忽然開始了。

這時候我在哪兒呢?

嗯。 牽涉到自己時總是複雜的。
大一,初出茅廬,糊裡糊塗的把日子這樣過了。我只記得每個夜晚沉醉在的文字世界——其實想想那時也還挺有趣呢。

大二, 搬家了。 是一個舒適到極致的房間——空調,個人廁所,棉被,傢具清一色都是溫暖的橙色。 那時解決完所有瑣碎事后,我就會窩在被窩裡,選部電影來結束那一天。有時期間會入睡,或看完後思緒起伏,有時候小說的點子就是這樣的夜晚來的。在把靈感記下后,往往已經接近日出了。接著我會泡一杯咖啡,喝完后自己滿足得不行。那時的我無解=D

大三, 再度搬家。 體驗了舒適的環境,我想考驗一下自己。我搬到離學校有一段距離的地方,是家庭住宅區。是一間非常老舊的房子,廚房佈滿了蛛網,天花板上沾著灰塵。
當然房租是差很遠的,這一點其實是最大的原因。
這年我參加了AIESEC。 
在接觸那麼多人,在體驗一些事后,我不禁回想—— 我之前的兩年在幹嗎呢?
爲什麽我會讀著現在的科系,爲什麽我會在這裡呢?

但我竟然給不了自己答案。 有誰能給我他的答案呢?
接受教育第十五年末,我竟然還不知道原因,這讓我有些迷惑,也有些困擾。
不過幸好。我還有一年,一年來找出一個原因應該不太難。
是一定要找出原因的。
旅程還長著呢。

有時我需要一個微笑,來抵消一切辛勞。
以及平淡的一番鼓勵,來確定那股決心。
給予微笑鼓勵的人,真是閃閃發光呢。
我應該要走出呼啦圈的範圍,不再在這小圈子里兜兜轉轉了。
往前走去,這是不是又是一篇《近乎于無的概率》呢?

就算是,這樣有點心酸的故事還是讓我揚起嘴角呢。